You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
