Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
