these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
