she was so not down for the gang bang
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize