I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
