I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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