Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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