I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize