I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
