I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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