my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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