Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
