So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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