...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
