i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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