I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
