I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
