So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
