everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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