So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
