Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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