Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
