she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Shame - the story of my life.
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