Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
