Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just blew my weed a kiss
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
