wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
