hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
