I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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