I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
