Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize