So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
