We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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