Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
