I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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