Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
