It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
