let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
