these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
