I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
