3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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