Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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