from now on my penis is your penis
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
