i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
