it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
