Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
