I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
