ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
