Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
