Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize