The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
