Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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