Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she looked like the before picture.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
