Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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