It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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