Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
