Sry I called you an 8
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
