when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
