toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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