nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
