I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
