Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
