I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
