i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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