do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
we're so committed to being not committed
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